Reaction management may be the most underrated soft skill in the hiring process. The ability to control knee-jerk reactions underpins some of the most valued traits on teams, including resilience, follow-through, risk tolerance, coachability, and willingness to speak up when needed. Its lack is the culprit behind some of the biggest problems leaders deal with day to day.
At a former company of mine, I hired employees “James” and “Kristin.” James was an exciting candidate on paper. He had an Ivy League degree, blue-chip work experience and appeared to be a strong communicator. But he struggled to recover from minor disappointments, setbacks, and perceived slights. When a vendor canceled a meeting with James last-minute, the vendor’s “rudeness” cost him hours of recovery time.
Kristin had a less flashy resume. She came from a farming background, attended a local university, and then worked at several small businesses. She took every setback in stride, from cancellations and inventory issues to difficult vendors and customers. Her ability to deal with—and move on from— problems made her the strongest operator on our team.
Why reaction management is so essential and how to interview for it
As important as reaction management is, hiring managers tend to overlook this elusive ability in favor of easier-to-spot skills like communication, confidence, and collaboration. While these skills are important, they can prove fragile under pressure and can be faked in interviews.
Reaction management is undervalued because we tend to associate it with managing the impulse to act out. But the concept applies more broadly. When someone can’t handle disappointment, criticism, or pressure and loses productivity as a result, these are also issues of reaction management. They may be quiet and implosive rather than loud and explosive, but they hurt a business no less acutely.
By thoughtfully probing the following five areas in interviews, managers can assess whether candidates have the fundamental ability to self-regulate.
1) Accepting feedback
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Metabolizing negative feedback requires solid reaction management skills to truly hear what is communicated in the moment, and to grow from it over time.
“David," a SaaS platform product manager at a client company, hadn’t learned to manage defensive reactions. When a senior colleague offered him feedback to improve a process he’d designed, David snapped that she wouldn’t know how to improve it. Later, when a client offered tips to simplify the platform’s interface, David chose to ignore the client’s “ignorant feedback.”
When someone does not self-regulate, studies show that instead of helping to improve their performance, critical feedback instead impacts their “liking for the feedback provider, perceived ability of the feedback provider, and feedback acceptance.” They say, “the client will never be satisfied,” or “my boss has it out for me,” rather than taking action to improve.
Interview questions probing reactivity can help managers spot an inability to receive feedback. Look for signs that candidates are quick to dismiss feedback or have significant internal resistance to it. Also note whether they blamed the feedback-giver. Questions like these can be revelatory:
- “Tell me about a time you received pointless feedback. What was wrong with it?” (Observe how readily the candidate indulges this question.)
- “What was some of the most challenging feedback you’ve received – either personally, or about a work product? What did you think of the feedback, and how did you address it?”
2) Risk tolerance
Decision-making requires risk management. To pursue a new opportunity, professionals need to evaluate and take calculated risks.
“Sanjay” and “Sarah,” two healthcare industry managers, were invited to present ideas to a panel of industry leaders. Keen to impress the CEOs, Sanjay presented his most ambitious project. Meanwhile, Sarah, anxious that a larger company might steal her idea, presented her lowest-stakes initiative. Sanjay’s small company landed a partner to execute his vision, while Sarah received polite applause.
Fear stifles risk tolerance— a necessary trait in any decision-making role. Ask questions vetting whether your candidate allows fear, anger, or anxiety to interfere with their judgement in high-pressure situations.
To take scripted responses off the table, present the candidate with hypothetical situations that could be perceived either as an opportunity or a threat. Sanjay and Sarah’s situation – an invite to present to other leaders — makes a good example. Or perhaps offer the hypothetical news that two of your biggest competitors are about to merge or that the head of your department will step down. Ask the candidate how they perceive the situation. Is it an opportunity, or a threat?
3) Resilience
Managing reactions to setbacks, challenges, or frustrating interactions can make the difference between meeting a deadline or building a great product, or not. People who self-regulate rebound more quickly. When someone can’t adequately manage their reactions, however, a cancellation or an unkind comment becomes a catastrophe, costing valuable time as they struggle to regain composure.
Poor reaction management also comes into play between colleagues, since a lot of us are not as resilient as we’d like to be when dealing with a toxic or annoying coworker. A Harvard Business School study shows that two-thirds of people admitted their performance declined after dealing with an unpleasant coworker. 63% also lost time trying to avoid that person, while 80% of people have lost time dwelling on how to deal with them.
To gauge candidates’ reaction management skills, ask interview questions probing how they handle frustration. For instance, do they catastrophize a budget cut, or a teammate disappearing before a big deadline? Or do they see it as par for the course?
4) Follow-through
Someone with poor reaction management skills can struggle to get through the difficult, uncomfortable, or unglamorous parts of a task. I once hired an up-and-coming designer to style a commercial set for a photoshoot. She had impeccable taste and could expertly style a room—on paper. But when it came time to unload rental trucks, assemble cabinets, or re-set vignettes three, four, or five times, she dragged her feet. “That part” wasn’t what she signed up for. The problem is the unglamorous part is 80% of most jobs.
Research shows that the ability to keep going when the going gets tough, is tied directly to self-control. Someone skilled at reaction management doesn’t see discomfort as a reason to stop. They work through it. In interviews pay attention to language that catastrophizes minor inconveniences. How triggering does the candidate find menial or dull tasks? You can use hypothetical scenarios to investigate further.
5) Defending your convictions
Calling out the flaws of a product or plan that the team is excited about requires a willingness to confront the majority opinion. Those who do so are either contrarian by nature or have the reaction management skills to tolerate a potential dip in popularity.
A marketing manager who tracks her brand’s user preferences may believe that a social media campaign the team is excited about won’t resonate with users. Her viewpoint is supported by data, but because she’s afraid it won’t be received well by her team she silently goes along with the campaign, knowing it will likely fail.
Those who are anxious about managing reactions exaggerate both the probability and degree of backlash if they push back. Their risk-aversion leads to silence, even in moments where giving a candid opinion could save their company millions of dollars.
You don’t necessarily want a team of contrarians who challenge the status quo for sport. However, asking a job candidate about a time they pushed back against a prevailing opinion can be illuminating. Ask: What were the stakes? Who did they challenge? How did they do it? What was the result?
Listen for both content and tone to get a sense of your candidate’s backbone.
Reaction management skills have a uniquely outsized impact on performance. Lacking them undermines a candidate’s ability to perform even those activities they excel at on paper. A weakness in reaction management is like a dial that turns down effectiveness in all other domains.
The good news for managers is that even though this weakness may not be obvious on the surface, it can be detected before you hire by asking the right questions and carefully listening.
*Names and details of individuals have all been anonymized for privacy.
